Monday 6 October 2014
Wednesday 1 October 2014
Wednesday 24 September 2014
Saturday 13 September 2014
Digitally Remarmaladed
Attack of the Scones
Revenge of the Victoria Sponge
A Blueberry Hope
The Entire Shelves, Jam-packed
Return of the Jelly
A Sauce Awakens
Tuesday 9 September 2014
Friday 29 August 2014
Tuesday 19 August 2014
Tiger
Unfinished, but hopefully you can let me know in the comments where I'm going wrong/right or whether you just want some more simple, (marginally) funny stuff. - Matt
Wednesday 6 August 2014
Tuesday 29 July 2014
Monday 21 July 2014
Saturday 7 June 2014
Poetry Night
This is a short clip of me reading a poem during the Fire & Dust poetry night, it was an amazing experience, and I met and listened to some amazing people including the Poet Laureate of Birmingham Stephen Morrison Burke. A big thank you to the 'Tin Music and Arts' venue and the creative writing magazine 'Here Comes Everyone' for their help in making it possible.
TRANSCRIPT:
Sometimes going home is hard.
What waits for you I wonder?
Wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, brother.
Lover, sister, stranger, mother?
Illness, stillness, seated congress.
A silence, untenable.
Wrongness, congenital.
You leave behind your chosen flock,
to sit with your given sheep.
Anchors tie you to a block,
and the wounds they leave run deep.
The ones you leave behind don't know,
why should they? It's your lot.
They leave with laugh and joke and song,
but you already feel the rot.
Home is where the best and worst of everyone is shown,
I could have- should have been a bird, when old enough, just flown.
Memories are fonder now, and bitterness aside,
my life and purpose are my own, and I alone decide.
Thursday 1 May 2014
I'm Back!
Took longer than I thought to get everything back to normal, but here I am. Hope you had a Happy Holiday, because here's something to spoil it.
Wednesday 9 April 2014
Tuesday 8 April 2014
Cake is hateful..
Nobody say the words 'Portal' or 'Lie' or I swear I'll find you and disentangle your genitals from your bodies. - Matt
Monday 7 April 2014
Unlikely Friends
Also, powerful router and city internet is back! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
Sunday 6 April 2014
Saturday 5 April 2014
The moon is high in the sky.
Managed to get it working, but it's not a permanent fix, so there's still a chance there won't be one tomorrow. I'll be back home Monday, so it won't be long. Hope you enjoy the extra detail I've been able to put in to this one because I didn't post yesterday. :)
Thursday 3 April 2014
Wednesday 2 April 2014
Tuesday 1 April 2014
Monday 31 March 2014
Sunday 30 March 2014
Saturday 29 March 2014
Spoons have all the luck.
Sorry about failing to put something up yesterday, I had two intermediate Italian exams and then a 3-hour magazine meeting, after all of which I was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as I got home. I might amend my last promise 'I'll never miss an upload day from today' (or something similar) with the words 'without good reason.' Then maybe you'll stop hating me! Thanks, Matt.
Thursday 27 March 2014
Wednesday 26 March 2014
Tuesday 25 March 2014
So Today.. a Math Cat.
Today I found myself at home, it was late morning and nowhere to go, nothing to do, so, after eating everything in the house and watching a few hours worth of internet videos, I phoned my friend.
'Hey.'
'Hello.'
'You free today?'
'I guess, why?'
'I'm really bored.'
'Are you not entertained!?!'
'Funny. Wanna pop over?'
'Sure.'
He decided to stay the night a bit later, we're at that stage offriendbroship where it's okay to sleep in the same bed as long as we're both wearing a few layers of clothing and don't make awkward eye contact, so it served our gaming purposes to just keep playing until we fall asleep. I seemed like it was going to be a normal gaming night until...
TAP TAP TAP
A soft, terrifying sound echoed in the room. Keep in mind that it was one in the morning, possibly later; images of some horrible machete-holding maniac or a seriously dedicated evangelist kept streaming through my mind, and I didn't really want to take a 50-50 on either death or 30 minutes of someone describing the individual benefits of Scientology.
Luckily, being less socially straight-jacketed and also insane, my friend had other, better, ideas.
'Sounds like a bird, maybe we should go shoo it away.'
Upon closer inspection (read 'being brave and opening the window'), it turned out to be a cat. But, before we could close the window or someway impede it's march, it leapt into the room and stood against us in a battle pose, ready to kill us natives and succeed in its invasion. For a few minutes my friend and I just kept glancing to each other then back to the cat, unsure of what we needed to do. I looked around at what I could use as some defense, a pillow, an umbrella, a suit of armor preferably, with particularly thick throat covering.
After what seemed like an hour of this stand-off, my friend grabbed a book from my shelf, and endeavored to use it as an unfeeling stratch-bag with which he could push the cat out of the room, where my parents or dog could deal with it. I took a sharp breath.
The book touched the side of the cat's face, and nothing happened, the cat didn't budge an inch, but neither did my friend. He continued to push, the cat's fur started to rise and his back began to arch. I took another sharp breath so hard I felt dizzy.
The cat struck.
A single slash across the hand that held the book, blood sprayed out over my room, drenching the cat and I swear I saw a glint of cruel enjoyment in his eyes. Well, I may be exaggerating the scratch on my friends hand but either way the book was dropped and the cat, thinking itself victorious, lay down next to it.
Strangely the book had fallen open, and the cat quickly became interested in the contents, and after some 2 minutes began staring rigidly into the pages. The book was on advanced mathematics, something difficult for humans to enjoy, never mind cats, so it was strange to see.
I picked up another dusty book on Calculus from my shelf and put it just outside the door (the cat was placated by it's reading) and not long after we watched as the cat left to sit and read the book on Calculus, what a cat! My friend and I, utterly surprised, considered training it to become some famous mathematician cat but realized he was wearing a collar, ah well, it's not like we wanted to be millionaires or anything.
After some more books and careful placement, we got the cat outside, sitting with it's back to my front door with it's nose in a chapter on Algebraic Formulae. We gently closed the front door and sat behind it, collapsing in relief. We went on to talk about it all night, and my friend drew this picture.
One of the weirdest things about that night is not his arrival or his strange interest in Mathematics, but the fact that book was gone when we left in the morning. Had the cat somehow taken it with him?
We'll never know.
'Hey.'
'Hello.'
'You free today?'
'I guess, why?'
'I'm really bored.'
'Are you not entertained!?!'
'Funny. Wanna pop over?'
'Sure.'
He decided to stay the night a bit later, we're at that stage of
TAP TAP TAP
A soft, terrifying sound echoed in the room. Keep in mind that it was one in the morning, possibly later; images of some horrible machete-holding maniac or a seriously dedicated evangelist kept streaming through my mind, and I didn't really want to take a 50-50 on either death or 30 minutes of someone describing the individual benefits of Scientology.
Luckily, being less socially straight-jacketed and also insane, my friend had other, better, ideas.
'Sounds like a bird, maybe we should go shoo it away.'
Upon closer inspection (read 'being brave and opening the window'), it turned out to be a cat. But, before we could close the window or someway impede it's march, it leapt into the room and stood against us in a battle pose, ready to kill us natives and succeed in its invasion. For a few minutes my friend and I just kept glancing to each other then back to the cat, unsure of what we needed to do. I looked around at what I could use as some defense, a pillow, an umbrella, a suit of armor preferably, with particularly thick throat covering.
After what seemed like an hour of this stand-off, my friend grabbed a book from my shelf, and endeavored to use it as an unfeeling stratch-bag with which he could push the cat out of the room, where my parents or dog could deal with it. I took a sharp breath.
The book touched the side of the cat's face, and nothing happened, the cat didn't budge an inch, but neither did my friend. He continued to push, the cat's fur started to rise and his back began to arch. I took another sharp breath so hard I felt dizzy.
The cat struck.
A single slash across the hand that held the book, blood sprayed out over my room, drenching the cat and I swear I saw a glint of cruel enjoyment in his eyes. Well, I may be exaggerating the scratch on my friends hand but either way the book was dropped and the cat, thinking itself victorious, lay down next to it.
Strangely the book had fallen open, and the cat quickly became interested in the contents, and after some 2 minutes began staring rigidly into the pages. The book was on advanced mathematics, something difficult for humans to enjoy, never mind cats, so it was strange to see.
I picked up another dusty book on Calculus from my shelf and put it just outside the door (the cat was placated by it's reading) and not long after we watched as the cat left to sit and read the book on Calculus, what a cat! My friend and I, utterly surprised, considered training it to become some famous mathematician cat but realized he was wearing a collar, ah well, it's not like we wanted to be millionaires or anything.
After some more books and careful placement, we got the cat outside, sitting with it's back to my front door with it's nose in a chapter on Algebraic Formulae. We gently closed the front door and sat behind it, collapsing in relief. We went on to talk about it all night, and my friend drew this picture.
One of the weirdest things about that night is not his arrival or his strange interest in Mathematics, but the fact that book was gone when we left in the morning. Had the cat somehow taken it with him?
We'll never know.
Monday 24 March 2014
Saturday 22 March 2014
I'm a lazy bum. Sorry.
Just wanted to put up a serious apology for my absence, I've been really busy and have not really had time to draw some images, but I will try my best to prevent it happening again. From now I plan to continue being a place for you to laugh at all the weird and wonderful stuff and a place to call your dysfunctional home. Cheers.
Wednesday 19 March 2014
Tuesday 18 March 2014
Sunday 16 March 2014
Saturday 15 March 2014
Friday 14 March 2014
Thursday 13 March 2014
Wednesday 12 March 2014
Tuesday 11 March 2014
Monday 10 March 2014
Sunday 9 March 2014
Saturday 8 March 2014
Get your mind out of the Gutter
Sorry for not posting yesterday, here's a pic I worked extra hard on to make it up. :)
Thursday 6 March 2014
Wall-E
Wednesday 5 March 2014
Tuesday 4 March 2014
Monday 3 March 2014
Sunday 2 March 2014
The Plumber and the Pregnancy
I apologize profusely for not getting a drawing out yesterday, so here's two that are quite different but equally weird. Enjoy!
Friday 28 February 2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)